Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Anatomy of middle management


*click image to enlarge*

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Middle Management – The Unmitigated Truth

There seems to be just the slightest hint of jealousy within the blogging community of members of the - EMMGSA –the “Elite Middle Management Group of South Africa”. Now I do find that extremely hard to understand for reasons far too voluminous to list here, however I feel obliged to highlight just the main ones:

The EMMGSA are:

The protectors – The EMMGSA constantly and unwaveringly protect the UCHNH (underling crack-head no-hopers) from top management, a task that makes anal intrusive root canal work on a public holiday a more appealing prospect.
Remember, that for every “fire that fuckers ass”, and “cant we just retrench those profit sponges” statement that is made, and these comments are plentiful I assure you, we of the EMMGSA have to kick into action by extolling the non existent virtues and pleading for the worthless corporate lives of the UCHNH. Needless to say the continued existence of your level is heavily dependant on the continued existence of ours.

The developers - As the EMMGSA constantly and with hurculean effort have to maintain the charade of unfathomable stupidity to ensure that the UCHNH feel that there is hope for their own careers, to keep them striving for the “mirage like” corner office, to keep them believing that they too can one day join the heady heights of the stratospheric environment that the EMMGSA call their corporate playground. What would you have to discuss around the water fountain or condom vending machine if we behaved with papal venerability and Newtonesque intelligence (attributes which are inherent within all members of the EMMGSA) during every interaction. The EMMGSA is, by purposefully setting unbelievably low standards, allowing the underling crack head no hopers to dream – tata ma chance etc etc.

The saviors - Due to Top Management being generally a bunch of masturbating misogynists with absolutely no clue as to why they are employed, the EMMGSA have to bear the full weight of corporate decision making and functional responsibility and through their Oriental type loyalty and dedication ensure the continued existence of the meager pittance the underling crack head no hopers call their salary – we are constantly saving the company and therefore the bacon attached to the ever widening asses of the you/people/heat magazine reading, gum chewing, “did you watch Bold last night” constantly on fucking sick leave, I only spoke to my girlfriend on the company phone for 5 hours today, constantly smoking on the balcony, set. Can you imagine not being able to enjoy the “buy one t-shirt for R9.99 and get 5 free” specials offered at your local Mr Price store simply because you no longer steal a salary from your company.

1:59 pm  

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