Bohemian Oddity

I went to Freddie mercury’s “Glam rock birthday party” last night ….it was …well.. average …(have decide not to attend any further parties that utilize the term glam or rock or that get thrown for dead people. )

The evening did however prove to have some gems , including meeting the world’s dumbest door whore , seriously – it’s a wonder she managed to dress herself - She didn’t know how to work the armbands (very complex those armbands – requiring a combination of motor skills and 100 000 years of evolution….. also they were shiny – which was possibly what was distracting her ) …so anyway stole an extra one to smuggle my boy in (the thievery of which lacked the glory and splendor of the road cone incident - given that DDW had just discovered she had opposable thumbs and as such had dropped her guard ….and the fact that said boy succumbed to an attack of narcolepsy and the contraband armband was in fact not utilized)

After DDW eventually managed to work out that we were not in fact colin moss (all 6 of us) MTS (My Trusty Sidekick) and I proceeded to the bar and ordered a vodka where Tea Cozy Head (barman who had a haircut like a tea cozy) shortly informed us that the vodka was not free (do we look that cheap??? …in retrospect we probably should have taken off the beer horns and the “where’s the free beer” t-shirt before ordering) …MTS then proceeded to offend Tea Cozy head by referring to his favorite DJ, Sean Duvet, as DJ Pillow (if you’re named after an eiderdown you need to be open to bedding jokes is all I say )…..Tea Cozy head was horrified - I was horrified by Tea Cozy head’s short white tennis pant …so we called it even .

MTS got stuck in a toilet

A nice farm boy koffiefontein offered to “double my salary” if I "shimmy’ed a pole" ..(and then proceeded to ask if he could borrow ten bucks) …. This was of course after he asked the most hated question (see rant here ) – and was met with the usual

-“pole dancer”
-“Hairdresser”

We got a vehement head shake from and angry little troll because MTS ruined her photo op

and we still managed to get home by 1 …. all in all not bad going for a school night !

Btw : My tongue is still furry (….and there are no pepper steak pies )