Replacing Middle Management

Hmmm….. I am having a particularly irksome encounter with what I can only assume to be middle management , or lower level management with aspirations of middle management or ultimately the manifestation a punishment sent down from the universe (who hates me because am I am hotter and more intelligent and my waist size isn’t infinite – take that universe .....fatty )

So anyway I was thinking about the traits of middle management and what items possibly displayed similar qualities (and could possibly used in a substitution exercise):

Intelligence : plank (small one ….with a couple of nails driven into it)
Personality : African violet (although African violets are slightly more colourful and get invited to more parties)
Interpersonal skills : electro shock therapy (although 9 times out of 10 I would opt for the electroshock therapy ….less painful)
Sense of humour : black hole (although black holes can be quite funny…. especially when middle management is getting sucked into them........You know.... there are just not enough black holes around …you should be able to get them out of the stationary cupboard … you know …..in case of emergencies .......and by emergencies I mean meetings with middle management )
Collective noun: Morons

So in effect, middle management could be replaced by an electrocuted African violet nailed to a plank on an event horizon.....

So anyway …happy freedom day for yesterday (….free dumb day in the case of MM …morons)