5 reasons why ESKOM needs to be raped by a rabid goat

Apart from being overly incompetent ,which is an offence punishable by death or a middle management position:

• Hair straighteners : they don’t work without power , one cannot expect to find a meaningful one night stand if one looks like the offspring of Goenie Goo Goo and cousin IT.
• Boredom : There is only so long you can play “Helen Keller - Helen Keller” before the game gets tired
• Warm beer : I would rather rip my liver out with a rusty dessert spoon then drink warm beer
• Having to use the stairs : arriving at a venue coughing up blood and sweating like migrating buffalo does not inspire awe
• Accidental death : such pit falls as setting oneself alight with a candle or accidentally running into a wall repeatedly head first in an attempt to avoid customary nodding and smiling at the small talk that arises when there are no realistic alternatives