One day penguins will rule the world

So I went to watch March of the Penguins – God I love penguins …. I reckon just as god created beer because he loves me and wants me to be happy – he created penguins so I could guffaw my little pip off at them.

Since I can remember I have made the annual trek to the aquarium to watch them moulting …. Because if there is one thing that’s funnier than a penguin…… it’s a depressed penguin ….. with feathers sticking out of its pip …..at odd angles……. like a little penguin Mohican. …. *GUFFAW*

And of course pearlers like this don’t suck :





So anyway back to the documentary which enlightened me to the fact that apart from having the comedic value inherent in being one of the most stupid looking animals ever created (middle management being the other most stupid looking animal ever created, but less funny than mind numbingly frustrating) , penguins actually have THE BEST dating ritual EVER .

I mean they hook up at this big ass party every year, where everyone is single (no talk of curtains and joint bank accounts)….. They have a bit of a dance, a bit of knobbage and then the woman piss off to go hang out ….. while the men have to park off in minus 40 degree blizzards starving to death looking after the offspring …BWAAAAAAA HA HA – the ’guins have so got their men whupped !!!!!

Then … after the woman are done partying they come back , there’s no interrogation as to their whereabouts or why the didn’t call (…..but I looooooove you ….you complete me *spasm*)…... and no name calling …… just : thank god you are back, it was good…… later …… and then the men piss off - it’s the ideal relationship….. no having to pull the “lets just be friends” , “I see you more like a brother” scenario ..... no restraining orders or unfortunate pet deaths ...and definitely no “I’ve decided to emigrate ” (........I kid you not …twice …….you had me at lets just be friends) …

So anyway ……………..I am SO coming back as a penguin in my next life (cause in terms of reincarnation ……you really can’t beat supreme ruler of the universe!)