I hate my job

just so everyone knows

French : Je déteste vraiment mon travail

Dutch : Ik haat werkelijk mijn baan

Chinese : 我真正地恨我的工作

German: Ich hasse wirklich meinen Job

Greek : Μισώ πραγματικά την εργασία μου

Italian: Realmente odio il mio lavoro

Russian : Я реально ненавижу мою работу

Spanish: Realmente odio mi trabajo

Mechanisms I have used thus far to kill myself as a result of afforementioned hateful job

1. stapled Jugular
2. throttled self with mouse cord
3. beaten head on desk in in vain attempt to incur bleeding on brain (however : apparantly have very thick skull )
4. stabbed self with pen
5. attended meeting with middle management (thought I could be bored to death...I can't)

alternative careers

• air hostess (chicken or beef)
• hairdresser
• sex toy for becks / brad / robbie
• bergie
• corpse (or middle management - both have pretty much the same brain capacity)

how dumb are clichés

It's always darkest before the dawn : that’s because there’s no fucking sun arsehole

Tomorrow is another day : thanks dickhead for reminding me I get to do this all over again tomorrow ……..I hate you

Every cloud has a silver lining : no some of them are dark and menacing and black with a black outline

There is a light at the end of the tunnel : and it’s the headlight of an oncoming train

Cheer up, it's not the end of the world : not so comforting if you were co-ordinating the apocalypse

Lifes too short : whats longer than life arsehole

Any friend of yours is a friend of mine : Especially if he is rich single and ridiculously good looking

Are you a man or a mouse? : Cause I am not into shtumping mice – small hairy mother fuckers with teeth

Always look on the bright side : ya good idea arse hole stare directly at the sun and blind yourself

Early bird get the worm : and then falls asleep mid flight and crashes into a power line and dies (but hey at least he got the worm )

Call a spade a spade : because he probably wouldn’t answer to Jeffrey or Eugene