Day from hell

So anyway – yesterday turned out to be the day from hell (and I don’t mean hell in a good way)… it all started out when I put my socks on in the morning - turns out my sock had a hole in it ….and me …not knowing my own strength managed to put my entire foot straight through it (…apparently I work out ) – of course at the time I thought this was hysterically funny and decided to wear it as a legwarmer ..not for one second thinking that karma was once again pissed at me and about to smite me .

I then arrive at work and discover that one of my friends hates me …I thought she had just been really busy lately and maybe a little quiet – turns out she hates me …apparently I said something ????..Now… I say a lot of things …in fact I find it hard to get through a day without saying anything at all … you see… I find it difficult to get my point across using only flailing arm movements and a series of grunts …. And after extensive research I have discovered the combining of words in a logical fashion is generally the most effective means of communication …so anyway “friend that hates me” is making it incredibly difficult for me as she won’t actually tell me the exact combination of words I strung together that she deemed offensive…. and as such has rendered me incapable of defending my honour… (and I use the term honour quite loosely here of course ) …

*stabbing self in head*

Shortly after this I discover that the source code repository at work also hates me (although I assume for different reasons) and has decided that it is no longer capable of merging code. So I spend the next 3 hours manually merging 17 files of code , line by line … a mind numbingly tedious and vein throbbingly frustrating task that has on occasion provoked the kicking of puppies. After a blissful morning of creatively stringing as many profanities together as possible and some *SHOUTING* I get to a stage where I am finally able to check my work in ..only to discover that some FUCKTARD managed to check in before me and I have to start the process all over again *BANGING HEAD ON DESK* …and to add insult to injury …the source repository ….having been foiled on its previous attempt to drive me insane has now also just inserted random characters into the code and completely fucked up my build – you know for shits and giggles.. *bang*, *bang*, *bang* …it was at this point ….(with a searing headache and bleeding pip)… that I was forced to redo the last 2 days work….*throttling self with mouse cord*

But that’s not all ...

I leave work early as I have a hair appointment (it may come as a shock to you – but I am not natural blonde) …when I get there I discover that my hairdresser has been in car accident and managed to concuss himself …It was at this point I also learned that concussion and highlights are apparently mutually exclusive... and that I could not be accommodated … “they” had apparently tried to call me to cancel the appointment but “they” had taken my number down wrong ..(it was at this point I imagined “their” heads spontaneously combusting )…after some wailing and gnashing of teeth they agreed to do the highlights – but no cut and blow …so I end up standing there an hour later looking like a drowned (albeit blonde and somewhat depressed ) rat …. I must have looked really pathetic as the chick took pity on me and agreed to do a quick blow dry .. of course not realizing I have the natural curl of a woolly mammoth….within seconds I am looking like Goenie Goo Goo after a rough night in the bush ….. instant “fro”…. Startled and I think somewhat afraid she ended up having to beat the fro into submission with a straightening iron …SCORE!!!!

So anyway …that was my day …..karma sucks ass

Mind The Gap

So the fucktard behind me in traffic discovered his hooter this morning …… I was just so impressed with his vehicular related break through that I was almost prepared to ignore his passionate blowing of it with the vigour and determination that he did.

I am loath to think he would actually be hooting at me for what I would categorize as opportunistic driving (which I would think is rather more commendable ) …. I would hate to think the vehement head shake I received along with the resounding hootage was in anyway related to my taking the gap before the actual end to the painted barrier that separated our lanes (can’t imagine that it would be better to move right to the end, come to a dead stand still and put my indicator on and rely on the kindness of SO NOT morning people to let me in when there sole objective is to get into my lane …. I THINK NOT )

so any way –the living knob head was stupid enough to leave a Citroën c2 size gap between himself and the car in front of him ….so I took it ….. now you do realize we are going at about a speed of 2… in rush hour traffic – I mean the risk of airbags deploying is about as high as high as a Thai boxing midget …and then he still continues to hoot at me when I am in front of him (in case I missed the head shake ) …and ride right on my bumper …what???? …to show me how close he got to hitting me if he had sped up ????

Fucking idiot

I could have got out and pushed my car into the gap

I hate being hooted at