Friday, May 28, 2004

Burn in hell skyscan

Due to the conniving nature of the psychotic “small furry flying mammal”* skyskan service created and run by one short man with even shorter appendage who has sooooooo much time on his hands that he can muster a half hour a day between satisfactorily taking himself in hand while looking at photo’s of his mother to bounce every conceivable mail that I send , I will no longer forward any mail to “small furry flying mammal ” employees that might remotely bring any manner of quality of life into their dull existence as employees of the recipient of the secret society of anal retentive wankers company of the year award .

Nothings showers my mediocre existence with more joy and warm fuzziness than the daily bombardment of alert notifications from the “small furry flying mammal” Skyskan service . Nothing keeps me more grounded than the plethora of emails alerting me to the potentially inappropriate content of my mails , when I receive them in their Spam like abundance I am filled with such a deep sense of remorse for my unacceptable infringement of the “small furry flying mammal ” email policy that I am forced to resort to at least half an hour of self flagellation and inner reflection of my blatant and intentional contravention.

Apparently an email entitled “Words of wisdom” triggered rule 94 “Banned Words for Incoming Mail” one can only imagine how I must have upset management when I almost uprooted their evil plot to surround themselves with people far more stupid than themselves (to maintain their already over inflated and somewhat misguided egos ) by actually trying to sneak some wisdom into the company (OH MY GOD what was I thinking ) I mean "wisdom" (spit on that *ptu ptu* ) who can run a company on wisdom – survival is ensured by stupidity alone (I mean look at the over abundance of Christmas beetles flying themselves repeatedly into walls – is that not proof enough ) and I mean the word “words” – who communicates with those ???? we should go back to an advanced series of grunts and wild hand movements ....... *GNARK GNARK*

losers

*time elapses*

The bastards are joining forces (the short appendage club ) and apparently have started a movement called “project make the vein in my head explode”

How is this for a smack in the face with a cold fish (barbel)

You do not have permission to send to this recipient. For assistance, contact your system administrator.
< ******corp.lan #5.7.1 smtp; ****** This system has been configured to reject your mail>

*foot note : a small furry flying mammal is a BAT

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