Plight of the single girl

I choose to be single , *hysterical laughter and rolling on the floor* , for sure – why wouldn’t I , the prospect of owning a couple of cats and scaring the neighbourhood children has always been appealing .

I recently discovered that I don't really look like the ass end of a bull dog with Haemorrhoids so can’t even use that as an excuse for the fact that I am destined to be alone the rest of my life in a viscous cycle of throwing wine down my throat and throwing wine up my throat a couple of hours later. All the while listening to some poor hard done by bitch wailing her sad life story to an anthem type tempo from the latest CD geared towards woman like me (I can’t live , if living is without you …..and the like ) .

It’s a sad existence – so I don’t have to shave regulary - but I am sufficiently filled with self loathing without having to deal with looking like the wife of the missing link . (but then again even she managed to hook a man – albeit one with deep set eyes and heavy brows )

I have recently found myself crying in movies – everbody does you say ????? How many of them do it when the movie has a happy ending , am now sufficiently bitter and twisted to want to drag the rest of the world down with me . spit on happy people when they aren’t looking and stuff (although sometimes generating spit with “droogies” turns out to carry a high degree of difficulty ……. In this case resorting to kicking and biting is perfectly acceptable )